


Asunder

by RowynSN



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Actor Arthur, Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Director Gwen, Emotional Infidelity, F/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-14 08:44:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4558173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowynSN/pseuds/RowynSN
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwen loves Lance. Has been with him for years. But when she starts feeling something more than annoyance for actor Arthur Pendragon, she has to decide between what she has always known and what she wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Asunder

**Author's Note:**

> This was super fun to write and my first time writing het so it was an interesting experience. Thank you [Isis101](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1216919/) and [AngelicSentinel](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/752676/) for beta-ing this for me. Both of you were really helpful and made this so much better than it was.
> 
> And thank you [Ancel ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ancel/pseuds/ancel) for the [prompt ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4616586).

Gwen gripped her phone tightly. Late. Again. She dialed Arthur's number and willed him to pick up. They needed to film, and she was not going to veer off their schedule more than they already were.

"Yeah?" Arthur said when the call connected. He voice sounded out of breath as if he had been running, and annoyance crept into his tone.

She narrowed her eyes. "In case you've forgotten, we're shooting today."

Arthur scoffed. "I didn't forget. I'll get there when I'm done."

Gwen opened her mouth to tell him off, but he hung up before she could.

_The nerve._

She chucked her phone at the couch and stalked out of her office. This... _attitude_ of his wasn't going to continue any longer if she had anything to say about it. Arrogance didn't get movies done. And if she had to, she'd fight the studio tooth and nail to recast the role. Arthur was one of the biggest stars in Hollywood, and to top it off, his name was identical to the main character's name. So she got why the studio wanted him as the lead. But no one was irreplaceable. Least of all, Arthur Pendragon.

He showed up an hour later.

Balling her fists, Gwen said, "What is it this time? Traffic?"

He downed what she assumed was coffee from a white Starbucks container. "Actually yes. Oh, and I stopped to get coffee."

He didn't live that far from the studio and there was a Starbucks a block away. But what could she do now? Yelling wouldn't accomplish much and they needed to shoot.

"Hurry up. Go to hair and makeup."

As he threw the container away, he nodded to her before disappearing down the hallway.

She took a deep breath to calm herself and then went to meet the other actors. Arthur joined them about twenty minutes later.

"We'll jump in where we were yesterday." Gwen directed each of them to their spots. The actress who was playing Morgana put down her phone, and their Leon stopped talking to a producer and quickly went to his spot. Arthur followed suit.

They got into formation. Gwen signaled the camera man. "Action!"

Filming went on, but they didn't get all of the shots she had wanted to get in today. At this pace, they wouldn't make their deadline, and she needed to. This was her first big-budget movie and nothing in the world was going to mess it up. Not even Arthur.

When lunch rolled around, she stopped by his trailer. "Arthur?" she said as she knocked on the door.

He opened the door with a frown, but that quickly changed to a cocky smirk. Her eyes lowered: he was shirtless with abs that looked as if they could be in a Calvin Klein ad (and knowing Arthur, they probably had been), pants dipping low below his waist... It suddenly got hotter. "I'm guessing you came to applaud me on my performance."

Gwen moved past him and sat on his couch. "Your unprofessionalism needs to stop," she said. She needed to tell it to him straight. No distractions, even if he himself was a distraction. The idea of her swooning over him like one of his fans left a sour taste in her mouth, though she knew there was no getting away from her body's reaction. It was normal, she told herself. Arthur was attractive. Anyone could see that. She just couldn't let it get to her.

He hummed noncommittally and went to his fridge to get a water bottle before leaning on his desk. Brows up, he stared at her as if he expected her to expand on her statement. Wasn't that simple enough? Well, if he wanted to know what she was thinking in full she was happy to oblige him.

"You're always late. It needs to stop. We have a deadline, and at this rate, we won't make it. Your arrogance and pompous attitude needs to be checked. You might think you're safe and that we can't replace you, but if you don't start respecting me and taking this seriously, I will make every day a living hell for you, and then I'll make sure you're off this movie. Don't think I'm like your previous directors: I will not kiss your ass. You're just like every other actor that walks through these doors. Stop acting like you're not."

During the monologue, Arthur's eyes grew progressively wider. His grip on the water bottle grew lax, and the cocky smirk disappeared, replaced by a frown.

His whole demeanor changed. As if someone had flipped a switch. "Fine," he merely said.

Gwen stood up. "Then we understand each other."

He didn't say anything as she strode out of the trailer.

She was still mad at him (and slightly happy that he agreed so willingly), but she couldn't stop thinking about him shirtless. God, he was so attractive. But she shouldn't be thinking about his looks. There was still more work to be done. Though she knew the only reason she took up more responsibilities than what was asked of her was because she didn't want to go home. Lance wouldn't be there. Or any time for the rest of this month. Really, if she was being honest with herself, she knew when he came back he probably wouldn't stay the two weeks had he promised her. She understood that he had business trips, but they were a constant and the house never felt like two people lived in it even when he was there.

The rest of the day flew by. She was the last of the crew to leave. That night was as she expected. As soon as she got home, she warmed up spaghetti from last night, curled up on her couch, and watched something on Netflix while eating. Alone. Again. This was what her life had come to. It was depressing and she was almost tempted to call Lance. But that wouldn't make her feel better, even if it was a good idea in theory.

The next week was an almost exact replica of the last, the only difference being the section of the script they were on. Arthur had listened to her and was (mostly) on time. Her home life stayed depressingly the same. She couldn't call her friends because they were his friends too, and she didn't want him to find out about her loneliness and worry. Even if a small part of her wanted exactly that. But she couldn't be selfish. He needed to focus on his business.

Gwen shook her head. This was pathetic. She was sick of moping about. She shouldn't be doing this every day. She should be doing something else. Clubbing maybe? It didn't sound appealing, but it was better than sitting at home alone.

So one night she changed into something nice and went to a club in a rougher part of town where she knew no one would recognize her. The music hurt her ears and the flashing lights gave her a migraine, but she tread on, hoping to dance and lose herself in the crowd. As soon as she got inside, the dance floor seemed daunting, so she paused and then headed towards the bar instead. She ordered a rum and coke. Then another. She was probably going to get hammered, but the threat of a hangover didn't faze her. Alcohol would let her escape, even if it was only for a brief time.

The drinks continued. She got drunker. The dance floor suddenly looked a lot more appealing than it did before. She stumbled to it and started dancing with a group of girls and a few guys who all blurred together. It was a good hour and a half until she saw a man that looked like Lance from the back. Her breath caught in her throat. Gwen maneuvered towards him and put a hand on his shoulder. He turned back towards her.

It wasn't him. It shouldn't have surprised her, but it somehow did. Her heart sank, and she suddenly wanted to cry.

"Sorry," she whispered and made her way to the bar again, wanting to drown out her thoughts. Lance wasn't here. She needed to stop feeling sorry for herself, but she couldn't stop. Gwen downed a shot of whiskey this time, feeling the burn going down her throat. She liked that feeling. It grounded her.

"Are you okay?" a voice said from beside her. She turned her head towards a man that looked and sounded a bit like Arthur, but...that couldn't be him, right? This club wasn't somewhere Gwen could imagine someone like Arthur going to. Not to mention the paparazzi would be all over him if he was, and he didn't have black hair or wear heavy makeup. Plus, the man was wearing regular people clothes, something that wasn't designer. Gwen didn't think Arthur knew what the word regular meant. He was always dressed exactly how one would expect someone in his profession to dress.

"What's your name?" she slurred.

"Bill."

"Your name's Bill?" She snorted. "Doesn't fit you."

He laughed. "That it doesn't." The man sat down beside her. "You look upset."

"Is it that obvious?"

Gesturing to her drink, he said, "I've seen you drink a lot. And you look like you're about to cry."

"So you've been watching me?" She squinted her eyes at him, but ended up laughing at how ridiculous that probably looked. God, she really needed to get her life together. And probably stop drinking.

"Only briefly. So what's wrong? Friend trouble? Did someone steal your car?"

She snorted. "I wish. Everything would be easy to fix then."

Bill hummed. "I'm guessing either boyfriend or family trouble."

Gwen poked him on the nose. "Right on the nose." His eyes widened at the touch. "My boyfriend's never home. And I can't complain either because he's expanding his business."

"Ah. He's that kind of guy."

"Not to mention that it doesn't help that I have to deal with this actor, who you look a lot like by the way, and everything is going a lot fucking slower than anyone intended. My deadline has been pushed back and I hate that. I also hate... You know what? Forget it. Bartender, another drink." Maybe this one would numb her completely. She downed it in one gulp. She guessed not.

"...I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Gwen laid her head on the bar and turned it towards him, smiling, eyes watering. "I'm the one who should be sorry. You've had to listen to me go on about my problems. I'll return the favor. Anything you want to talk about?"

"Nothing. I have to get going. I'll see you around. Thanks anyways." He put his hand on her shoulder. It was warm and comfortable and she almost protested when it was gone. The man left after that. Gwen did the same and took a taxi home.

Nothing had changed. The house was still empty, work still hung over her head, and she wasn't even close to figuring anything out. Figured.

* * *

 

Gwen woke up with a headache and a bad feeling in her gut. She remembered what happened last night, but she wished she didn't. Gwen had spilled her guts to a stranger. In theory, it shouldn't be as bad as it was (though still embarrassing), but something about Bill seemed off. She played the conversation over and over in her mind, trying to salvage anything she had missed.

The man's face was clear - identical to Arthur's - the only difference was his makeup, hair, and clothes. Even his voice sounded the same.

Wait - there weren't many lookalikes that shared the same voice. So did that mean - ?

It became clearer in her mind. That man was obviously Arthur in disguise and the fact that she didn't pick up on it until now made her cheeks heat up. She slammed her face on her pillow. Fuck. She had told him all of those things. Had even complained about Arthur to himself. What did he think of her now? She thought about it for a second and shook her head. No. She shouldn't be feeling embarrassment, but anger. He had tricked her. While she was drunk no less.

She went into work, that feeling boiling over in her mind. It didn't help that he was late to work again (though it was only fifteen minutes this time). Gwen's mounting frustration with him had come to a head.

When he arrived, she seized his arm and pulled him to her office. She slammed the door behind her.

"Explain yourself."

Arthur sat down and crossed his legs. "About what? Being late?"

Narrowing her eyes, she crossed her arms over her chest. "You know what I mean. The bar. Lying to me. And don't say that it wasn't you. Being late again doesn't help your case."

"You looked sad. And you're prettier when you're not."

Gwen laughed. "Uh huh." Yeah, like Arthur would find her pretty. Or help her out because of it. "What is the real reason?"

Arthur frowned as if he was offended by that accusation.

"You're offended?"

"Is this all you want to talk about?"

Gwen stepped forward, posture straightening. "We're not done."

Arthur got up. "You're always going on about being delayed. Let's get back to shooting."

Gwen grabbed his arm as he was turning. Heat traveled up the length of her arm, but she didn't let that show. Showing weakness was not an option. "Don't you dare act as if I did something wrong. You lied to  _me_."

He didn't say anything as he separated his arm from her grip and exited her office.

The anger wilted as she stood there alone. But she wanted to keep that feeling. Feel angry at Arthur because she had a valid reason. Why was she suddenly feeling guilty? And for what? Because Arthur got offended that she thought he had an ulterior motive? What was so wrong with that?

She followed Arthur to shooting, and they got started quickly after that. They got more done than she expected. But during the shoot, a weird sort of energy passed between them, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. At times, she caught him briefly looking at her when he thought she wasn't looking and Gwen did the same.

The question of why he really lied to her repeated in her head throughout the day. Did he really care about why she was sad? He wasn't known for being the most caring or thoughtful person. And in her experience, even if it was very limited, he had lived up to how everyone portrayed him. But what if he wasn't that way? What if he did care enough to ask her if she was okay. Maybe she really did overreact. Though, why her? They barely even talked other than the movie and when he did something that ticked her off. He hadn't showed interest in her before, why now?

Gwen couldn't stop thinking about it. Even as filming stopped and everyone went to eat lunch. She didn't eat in her office but instead took her salad to Arthur's trailer. Gwen needed to get to the bottom of...everything, really.

Knocking on the door, she looked around, making sure no one was around. Why it mattered to Gwen eluded her.

Arthur opened the door and leaned to the side. "What do you want?"

Answers, mostly. But what came out instead was, "Let's eat lunch together."

Arthur blinked, pausing, then shrugged and walked back to the couch.

"So what are you having for lunch?" Gwen said.

"...A panini." He sat down. "What are you doing here?"

"Eating lunch."

Arthur didn't reply, and they both stared awkwardly at each other as they started to eat. Gwen had no idea what to say next even if her mind had been buzzing with questions not even five minutes ago. The awkward silence grew and ate anything she was about to say. Instead Gwen studied Arthur closer. The anger that was there earlier was gone. In its place was calm and that strange feeling from earlier.

Arthur cleared his throat. "About what you said last night..."

Their eyes met. "Which part?"

"About your boyfriend. If you're so miserable, why have you stayed with him?"

"It's not your business."

He put his hands up defensively. "Like I said, I'm just curious. Don't tell me. That's fine." Pausing, he put his hands down and suddenly his eyes burned into her, looking for something. Then, like a drop of a hat, the mood of the room changed to something less heavy and he leaned back, eyes cutting to the side. "Let's get dinner tonight."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "In case you didn't hear me before, I have a boyfriend."

"We'll call this a friend's night out to celebrate how the production of the movie is coming. Plus, we don't have to get anything fancy."

"No." Not a good idea at all. Though doing anything with somebody after work sounded like a nice change...

"Why not?"

"Because I...have to do things at my house." She paused before adding, "I also don't want the paparazzi to photograph us together. You know how the tabloids spin things."

"Do you need help? We could have dinner there. And let me worry about them. I lose them all the time."

"No, no. Don't worry and go through all that trouble. I'll just do it myself."

"Nonsense. I'll be over at six."

Before she could object, he rushed them out the door, saying they were late for shooting even though they were 10 minutes early. He left her to go talk to his co-star. Gwen didn't get a chance to tell him to cancel.

The only thing that was left in her mind after that were even more burning questions: Why did Arthur want to hang out with her? And more importantly, what was she going to do?

* * *

It was nearing five, and Gwen was silently freaking out. The house was a mess and she couldn't decide what to wear. Wearing sweats would be comfortable, but not attractive. Not that she was trying to be, mind you. She had Lance after all. But something made her pause when she reached for them. She willed herself to wear them but her hand didn't move. The thought of him and how he would react if she did wear them played out in her mind. Shaking her head, she grabbed them anyways and put them on. Arthur wasn't going to stop her from wearing what she wanted. And she wasn't trying to impress him. Gwen could admit she found him attractive, but that was where she drew the line.

Even though she was doing all of this, she didn't even know if he was even coming. He hadn't asked for her address and as far as she knew, he didn't know it.

The doorbell rang and Gwen nearly had a heart attack. He was early. She wasn't even dressed yet or the house clean enough for any guest to be here. Hurriedly, she put on a tee shirt, ran to the door and opened it.

"Hey," she said, out of breath. Shit. Too desperate. She willed her breathing to calm down.

Arthur was dressed nicely (as always), but like the night at the club, his clothes were plain: only a red V-neck with a pair of black skinny jeans.

He held up two big brown bags of what was probably takeout. "I brought food." Gwen motioned him in, and he set the food down on the coffee table, then sat down on the couch. He looked around her house before saying, "So this is your place? It fits you."

"Yes." She nearly shook her head at herself. That was lame. Beyond lame. But what else was she supposed to say? She shuffled to the couch. Why didn't she plan this out more? "So what kind of food did you bring?"

Arthur grabbed a bag and handed her the other one. "There's this great sub place not far from here. Fratello's subs. Have you been?"

Gwen shook her head. She knew the shop but hadn't been to it. As she opened the bag, her gaze turned to Arthur. He was staring. Gwen immediately looked down into the bag and started taking things out. There was a large container full of fries, two subs - one ham with possibly every topping possible and the other with roast beef and turkey with the same amount of toppings - onion rings, and a miniature pizza in a small box. No wonder why the bags were so large. "This is a lot. How much was it?"

He winked and started eating. Gwen settled on the roast beef and turkey sub and a couple of onion rings. Surprisingly, it was great, melting in her mouth and the abundance of toppings just adding to its flavor.

"Wow. This is one of the best subs I've had in a while."

"It's my favorite sub place in L.A."

A pause and then, "So why did you want to have dinner?"

"To celebrate obviously. Well that and to help you with whatever you needed to do here." He paused. "There's a marathon of - "

He was cut off by the phone ringing.

Who was it? She wasn't expecting anyone to call.

Gwen got up and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey." Lance? She perked up.

"What's up? Did something happen?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice. It's been a while since we've talked."

Gwen sighed. "Yeah, it has." But it was always like this. A never-ending cycle that she knew would only stop when either his company had failed or his vision of global domination had come true. Something akin to a boulder dropped in her stomach.

"I wanted to also say that the date I'm coming back has been pushed back."

The shitty feeling got shittier and suddenly she felt tears burn at the edge of her eyes. Not this again. Gwen was going to be alone for even longer now. Why did this always happen?

"Oh, okay," she whispered.

"Gwen, don't be like that. This deal will really increase profit margins. I promise when I get back I'll stay twice as long and treat you to whatever you like. How does that sound?"

It did sound nice. But still. Him being here was all she wanted.

"I'll keep you to it," she said, trying to sound happier than she was.

"I love you."

"Love you, too."

She hung up and the tears came pouring out. Gwen nearly jumped when Arthur put his arm around her shoulders and guided her to the couch.

"It's okay," Arthur said softly.

Gwen put her face between his neck and shoulder and tried to cry silently but failed. He awkwardly patted her on the back.

Why was she crying in front of Arthur? Much less on his shoulder. She must look so pathetic.

Gwen sniffled. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For crying in front of you. For you having to hear all of that."

"Nonsense. You don't need to apologize at all. Here, let's watch TV to distract you."

Gwen nodded into his neck, then sat up and turned towards the TV. Arthur flipped through the channels until he stopped at  _Ancient Aliens_ , though Gwen had no idea why.

"You believe in this stuff?"

Arthur chuckled. "Of course not. It's just fun to play drinking games to. You have any booze?"

Gwen nodded before hopping up and getting the booze from the kitchen. She stopped to look at her reflection in the refrigerator and wiped her tears. There would be no more crying tonight if she had anything to say about it. When she went back to Arthur she held both bottles up. "Whiskey or vodka?"

"Both."

Gwen smirked before getting the shot glasses and sitting down.

"Okay so how this works is that every time the guy with the funny hair says aliens, you take a drink," Arthur said.

She didn't watch the show much, but she knew enough about it. "We're going to be wasted by the end."

Arthur winked. "That's the point."

They were drunk by the end of an episode. They couldn't stop staring at each other and laughing.

Gwen shot up. "Let's dance!"

"Great idea. Wait while I go get someone who can dance."

"Don't worry. I can't dance either so we'll both be bad together." She grabbed his hands and hoisted him off the couch.

"We don't even have any music," he said.

Gwen went to her bedroom and grabbed her iPod and speakers.

"See? It's all solved," she slurred. The first song that she played was one of her favorites: "Slow Nights, So Long" by Kings of Leon.

Their dancing mostly consisted of stumbling and doing weird arm movements until Arthur grabbed her, and they started slow dancing to the next song. Something was telling her this was a bad idea, but she couldn't think over his warmth and the alcohol.

"You have such great taste in music."

"You have great taste in cologne." Arthur smelled so good. It wasn't overpowering, but just enough that you could smell it if you were close enough. A mixture of woody, herby and fruity scents that combined to make something that drew you. Gwen wondered briefly why she hadn't noticed it before.

"Thanks."

He tried to spin her, but she ended up tripping and taking him down with her, his weight trapping her on the ground. They started laughing but then the air changed. They paused, smiles falling as they stared at each other, their faces inches apart. Gwen had the sudden urge to kiss him. She cleared her throat and slipped from under him as he moved to let her out.

"It's late. We have shooting tomorrow."

"I'll...see you later then."

Arthur left quickly and she plopped down on the couch. Gwen felt surprisingly sober after that, her mind almost completely cleared of the haze of alcohol but still cluttered with thoughts of Arthur. Knowing how much she was starting to like him, she knew she should distance herself, stop this relationship before it grew into something that could hurt Lance.

But Gwen couldn't stand the thought. She didn't need to completely destroy their newfound companionship, right? She'd just have to be strong enough to not let it go any further. That couldn't be too hardcould it?

* * *

Everything changed after that night. Before Arthur preferred to stay in his trailer during breaks, now he came to her office during them. They talked about anything that interested them at the time; the discussions ranged from books to food and everything in between.

On top of them hanging out during work, he started coming to her house at the same time every night - around 6 or 7 - and would stay until 10 or 11. It was a nice change even if she did feel guilty about it. What would Lance say if he was here? Nothing good, she was sure. This feeling on the surface looked purely platonic, but it wasn't at all.

Arthur leaned across her office door. "Are we on for tonight again?"

Gwen looked up from the paperwork on her desk. Why wouldn't she be? They had been doing this for a week now. It had become routine and like most routines, she liked to keep them. "Yeah, why?"

He smiled. "Wear something nice."

"Where are we -"

Before she could finish the sentence, he said a quick "see you tonight" and left. What did he have planned? Wait a second. Something nice? Did that mean he wanted to go somewhere together that required them to dress formally? That sounded like a date. But it couldn't be. Arthur knew she was taken.  _Stop it, heart._  It was beating way too fast for this to be merely a friendly date.

But she couldn't cancel it. Even if she went to him now, she knew she wouldn't really do it. She didn't want to.

As the guilt made its way into her, excitement buzzed right below it. Gwen had a feeling that whatever he had planned would be amazing.

Gwen left work earlier than normal to get ready. Picking out her outfit was a hassle, and she still didn't even know if the dress was right for the occasion. She settled on something more simple - a black dress she wore once before to a luncheon with Lance's mother before she had died. The thought about Lance didn't upset her as it once had, but then again, she purged it from her mind as soon as it came up. The dress said "friendly" but still highlighted her assets. Not that she could admit to herself that she wore this for Arthur.

The doorbell rang and she answered the door.

Arthur paused when he saw her, eyes scanning over her before greeting her. "You look so…"

"Nice, I hope."

"More than nice. Beautiful."

Gwen chuckled at his reaction. He probably just wanted to make her feel special. She was sure there were prettier women in Arthur's life.

"So where are you taking me?"

Arthur smirked. "Guess."

"The zoo. Wait - no, I know the perfect place: McDonald's."

He held his hands up. "You caught me. But no, seriously."

"I'm all out of guesses. You'll have to tell me."

"You'll know when we get there. I don't want to ruin it."

Not long after that, they headed out to Arthur's car. The drive was long and soon they were on their way out of the city and into a rural area. When the sun had set, they stopped at large building in a small town that she had never heard of.

"What is this?"

"The best time of your life... Probably."

There was no one was around even as they went into the building. Only someone who handed Arthur the keys and left.

"The best time of my life, hmm?"

Arthur laughed. "You'll see."

It was a museum of some kind, she gathered. An old one at that. The inside had pamphlets about the events going on and other such things. She briefly scanned over the outside of the pamphlet. Was this an aquarium too?

"An aquarium and museum?" He didn't answer. "Why did I have to dress all fancy then?" Again, he didn't say anything. Just continued walking until they reached the doors into whatever attraction Arthur was taking her to.

He opened them. Inside was like a planetarium and aquarium all in one room. Bright stars covered the ceiling, at the sides were colorful fishes swimming, and in the middle of the room sat a blanket and basket of food.

This was suspiciously like a date. Gwen couldn't get herself to care.

"You did all of this for me?"

"Of course. Anything for you." He smiled one of those bright and blinding smiles that made her breath catch in her throat, and motioned to the blanket. This was dangerous. She should just stop before she did anything she regretted. But she couldn't get her body to move anywhere else but forward.

"So what did you bring?"

"Obviously the crème de la crème of cuisine. Soup and sandwiches."

She laughed. "You really like sandwiches, I'm noticing."

"And you're just noticing this now?"

He got the food out and handed her a wrapped bowl of cucumber soup and a platter of roast beef sandwiches. Gwen started with the soup and Arthur with the sandwiches.

They ate in comfortable silence until Gwen's phone rang. She answered it immediately without looking at who it was from. "Hello?"

"Where are you?"

Her blood froze. It was Lance. And she was with Arthur, far away from the house. On something that appeared as if it was a date (which it kind of was if she was being honest with herself).

"Um, I'm having dinner with a friend." She paused, but before he was able to ask about Arthur she said, "Are you home?"

"Yeah, I decided to surprise you. But it's fine. I can just see you when you get home."

Lance hung up and she stared at her phone, not knowing what to do next. Her stomach sank and she felt like crying.

"Are you...okay?" Arthur said hesitantly, almost awkwardly, as if he wanted to say more, but couldn't.

"Yeah. Just... I have to go."

"Sure, we can go now. Was that Lance?"

"Yeah."

Nothing more had to be said. He probably knew what that meant.

They left afterward in silence that continued until it was broken 15 minutes later when Arthur said, "What's so great about him?"

Gwen didn't answer. Even if she did, there was no point in telling him why she liked Lance.

Arthur huffed and gripped the wheel tighter. "I know we haven't really known each other for long, but I like to think that our time together this last while was...special. I've been here for you. I can always be here for you. He can't."

The tears that threatened to burst out finally did. Gwen really didn't want to cry in front of him again, but she couldn't stop herself.

"But I can't. I can't do that to him."

"But what about you? I know you're not happy. What do you want? Do you really want to stay with him?"

Gwen hushed. He did have a point, though she didn't want to admit it or think about hurting a man she'd been dating since high school. Being with someone else would be a change that she had never really thought about in detail before. Yeah, leaving had crossed her mind, but what she didn't take into consideration were all of the things they built together. All of the things she'd leave behind. But that was already happening if she was being honest. Could she take the next step, though?

"We're friends, Arthur. That's all that we can be. I don't know if that will change, but when I'm with someone, I can't cheat."

"Then get with me. Dump him."

She gripped her knees. He just didn't get it. "It's not that simple. We have a life together. We've been together since we were fifteen."

"But you're twenty-eight now."

Gwen had no answer to that. For the remainder of the drive, she sat in silence, wanting to say something more. To try to explain everything to Arthur. To make him see. But she doubted he would. They arrived at her house and she grabbed her purse. She was almost out of the car when Arthur grabbed her arm.

"I won't give up."

Gwen searched his face looking for some sort of sign to show that he was lying. She couldn't find one, and that part of her that wanted to leave Lance for Arthur swooned. The heat of his hand gripped her, and she leaned into it slightly. They stared at each other, something growing. Was it just her or were their faces getting closer?

She nodded and turned her head. "Okay." Gwen left the car, chest squeezing painfully.

"Hello?" Gwen said as she came inside. Lance came to her quickly.

"Babe." He gave her a hug before kissing her lightly on the lips. It felt cheap and all she could think about was Arthur. "I've missed you. And I brought you something."

Gwen could remember when she used to be excited for this sort of thing. Now she just felt guilty and numb to it. The gift was wrapped in shiny wrapping paper with a zigzag pattern. She opened it quickly. Maybe when she saw what was inside she would feel better.

Inside there was a skirt made of seashells and velvet and a shirt that matched the skirt, except there were only two shells and the rest of it was velvet. It was ugly, but she smiled anyways.

"It's great. I love it."

Gwen really hoped he wouldn't make her wear it.

"I saw it, and I thought of you." He hugged her again, only tighter. "It's great being home."

"When do you have to go back?" The words came out faster than she could stop them. He didn't see what she was doing. He smiled painfully. It probably was because he thought that she didn't want him to leave.

"I'm staying longer. I won't leave early this time, I promise. The deal didn't need as much time as we thought." She knew the promise was worthless. Gwen nodded her head anyways.

"It's late. I think I'm going to go to bed," she said.

Lance's brow raised. "Now? But it's only 9. I just got here. Don't you want to stay up for a little bit longer?"

Gwen sighed. "I'd rather not."

"Let's do something. Go somewhere."

"I have work in the morning."

"We can stay here, then. Please, Gwen. We can watch TV together or something. I just want to spend time with you."

While watching TV together with someone was a normal thing, she couldn't help but think of the times Arthur came over and watched it with her.

"We can go out tomorrow. It's just been a long day."

Gwen wasn't lying about that. She felt so emotionally and physically drained that doing anything more would probably make her break down. And she didn't want to do that in front of anyone. Especiallynot Lance.

* * *

Gwen woke to breakfast in bed. In the short time that she had slept, she had forgotten that Lance was here, so she almost jumped and knocked all of the food off the bed.

"Good morning, sunshine. I made your favorite."

"Mmm." It smelled so good. "This looks lovely. Thanks." She dug in as Lance went on about what happened on the business trip and what he had to do here. He came back early because the merger with some foreign company she couldn't pronounce went smoother than he thought. Apparently some scandal that they uncovered made the task twice as easy. Gwen blanked most of it out, smiling and nodding at the right times.

"What about you? What have you been up to?"

"Filming  _Pendragon_." At his blank look, she said, "You know that historical epic that is going to change my career."

"Ah. That movie. How has it been going?"

She nearly rolled her eyes. Finishing off the last piece of bacon, she got up and took the tray into the kitchen. "Good. We're about a little more than a fourth in."

"Nice progress. Hey, I have to go to work now, but good luck on filming."

They kissed goodbye, and she got ready with the options of staying with Lance and leaving with Arthur going back and forward in her mind. What was she going to do about them? The thought didn't leave her even as she tried to immerse herself in directing.

Arthur was there, and he was the most dour she had ever seen him. The sight of him made her want to stop everything and go to him. Shooting went on as normal though.

* * *

Gwen dragged her feet going home that night.

Lance greeted her at the door when she came home. He kissed her chastely on the lips, then handed her an outfit.

"We have to go out."

"And you bought me a new outfit for this why?"

"I want you to meet some of my new employees."

So this wasn't just a them hanging out thing. It was a "let me show off my girlfriend" kind of thing. Suddenly, she didn't feel guilty for much of anything.

She got ready for this outing deciding to look her best. After all, if he wanted to show her off, why would she disappoint? Honestly, she just wanted to stay home, have Arthur bring subs from the place down the street while they talked and watched TV.

They left soon after she got ready and went to go to an upscale club that she knew Lance liked, but Gwen thought was too stuffy. A gangly man in a suit stood up when they entered and waved at them.

"Merlin." Lance gave him a hug and then sat down, not doing the same for the others. They seemed close, but Gwen had never met him before. "Oh, and this is Gwen, everybody."

They all shook her hand, saying something along the lines of  _it's good to meet you_ or  _Lance speaks so highly of you that it's finally good to see who you are_.

She smiled and gave the appropriate responses, but their conversation moved on and she sat there awkwardly, their voices moving in one ear and out the other. She suddenly had a headache. They were joking and laughing, and she didn't know what about. Gwen felt disconnected. Like she wasn't really a part of Lance's life any more. And she wasn't. Not really.

"I'm going to get some air," Gwen said and left before anyone could say anything. She felt suffocated in that tiny little space with people who spent more time with her boyfriend than she did.

Why did she do this to herself? The air was hot and humid outside and was probably going to make her curls frizzy, but she couldn't get herself to care. Not about that, not about anything really. Except for Arthur.

Before she knew it, she dialed his number. Voicemail picked up.

"Hey. I just - I called to talk to you about...stuff. And uh, was wondering what you were doing. Anyways, have fun doing whatever you're doing. I'll see you tomorrow."

Gwen hung up and stared at her phone, playing with it in her hands. She was so pathetic. She couldn't stand it when she acted like this. But she knew what would happen if she broke up with Lance. But really, she couldn't get herself to want to stay with Lance and their dying relationship.

She went back inside, knowing what she had to do. It would be a lot simpler than she had first thought. The whole table was downing shots now. None of them looked too wasted, but that probably wouldn't be for long.

"Lance, let's go."

His head snapped to her, disappointment in his eyes. "But we just got here."

"You can stay, but I'm leaving." Both figuratively and literally. But she wasn't going to tell him that until they were back at the house.

"Oh. Then I guess I'll see you at the house later."

She nodded and hurried home. Starting to pack, she laughed and felt lighter than she had felt in a while. Why hadn't she done this before? When she was almost done with packing, Gwen heard the door slam open and Lance stumble in. She rolled her eyes and picked up her bag. It wasn't all of her stuff, but it was all of the things she gave a damn about.

"Where are you going?" Lance slurred.

"I need to leave. I'm sorry."

He paused and stared at her blankly, as if not believing she was telling the truth.

"Why? Wait, Gwen. Don't leave. I - I bought you a ring and -" He cut himself off.

"If you were paying attention, you would have realized it's not fine. I'll come back for the rest of my stuff when I get a place."

He gritted his teeth. "Is this just a break or is this for real?"

"I'm serious. I can't do it anymore."

Lance grabbed her arm when she turned to leave. "I bought you a ring. Did you not hear? I love you. This can't end. Not like this."

She turned to face him, a grimace growing on her lips. "I'm sorry." What else was there to say? Getting married would fix nothing. He should know that.

"Is there someone else? Is that what's going on?"

In part, but she would never admit that. "It's not that. This is not something that can be fixed. Our relationship is done, Lance. It hasn't been the same for years and you know it. I love you too, but that's not enough."

She detached his hand from her arm and marched to the door. Before she left, Gwen looked back to Lance's intense stare. It wasn't mad or sad, but confused, searching. They met eyes and she smiled knowing she'd made the right decision.

"I'm sure you'll find the one. I'm sorry it couldn't be me."

And then she left and went to a hotel. Checking her phone, she realized Arthur had called her back. She must not have felt it vibrate while she had been packing.

Gwen called him back. Arthur answered immediately.

"Hello?"

"Hey. It's me."

"I...heard your message." He paused for a couple of seconds before saying, "How's Lance?" A hint of something dark tinted his tone.

"We're done. I broke up with him."

"Oh." More silence. "So does that mean…?"

"Yeah." She didn't know what else to say. "Goodnight," she said after the pause.

"Yeah, goodnight."

Gwen hung up not long after.

* * *

The next day went the same as it had for weeks. It felt like everything had changed, but nothing had really changed at all.

At the end of the day, Arthur knocked on her office door and came in. "Are you busy tonight?"

Gwen was at her desk filling out paperwork. She looked up and promptly smiled. "Yep. I'm free."

"Good. I was thinking maybe we should make a new tradition. How about Chinese in an actual restaurant this time?"

Gwen smiled wider and felt something grow in her chest, hope and excitement wrapped in one. "I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are greatly appreciated. :)


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